crying so much my head hurts

Well, the past week or 2 have been some of the worse weeks this year for me. Today, though was THE WORSE I had noticed a few days ago that my dog was "missing" and I thought he had jumped at a window or something. Not something I want to talk about now, but FYI he passed away. I have this feeling  that maybe his seizures he had a few months ago have something to do with it. It's weird though I found out today, and last night I had a dream that he was alive. I was playing with him, and he was happy, fine. Some dream that turned out to be.


Maybe by Sick Puppies-
Maybe I'm a dreamer
Maybe I'm misunderstood
Maybe you're not seeing the side of me you should
Maybe I'm crazy
(Maybe I'm crazy)
Maybe I'm the only one
(Maybe I'm the only one)
Maybe I'm just out of touch
Maybe I've just had enough

Maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change

Maybe it's hopeless
(Maybe it's hopeless)
Maybe I should just give up
(Maybe I should just give up)
What if I can't trust myself?
What if I just need some help?

Maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change

And maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try

And maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change

I heard this song te other day, and it fit perfect with the way my mood has been lately, and what with all the shit i've been going through . Maybe, a change wouldn't be so bad. California sounds like a really good place to go right now. I have a friend that lives there whose been trying her hardest to get me to live with her. it would definitely be a change. Who knows maybe for the better?

Ashley

Things just seem to get better..NOT!

Seriously, this month keeps getting worse. I'm totally to blame here because I'm the dumbass who apparently thought I had gotten oil put in my car when I got it inspected, but I didn't. The result of this my engine fucking broke or froze over. Now I do not have a car and no money to get a car. So yeah everything sucks right now. I hate the holidays and everything else.  So note to everyone (or perhaps I'm the only retard) CARS apparently need OIL. Make sure you pay attention to the little lights. *growls*

I swear if it's not one thing with me it's another. I guess in a way it's good because no car=no getting stopped by police for outdated stuff and no going to jail for other tickets.

Thank you that is all!

Hush, Hush Becca Fitzpatrick Book Trailer

So...life

I have been in this really bad funk lately (I don't know why) with the way my life, and other stuff is going. I'm not happy with anything. I mean I do like my job. It's just I sit and see the way other peoples lives are going (or not going for that matter) and I wish I could make myself change. I don't want to be stuck somewhere just because it's easy, and it's my "comfort zone." I keep thinking I want to change go back to school (for what I'm not sure) I mean I thought about going back for English because it seems like right now that's what has my attention. You know reading, trying to write that kind of thing.

I just had to type that out. Sorry a small rambling.