crying so much my head hurts

Well, the past week or 2 have been some of the worse weeks this year for me. Today, though was THE WORSE I had noticed a few days ago that my dog was "missing" and I thought he had jumped at a window or something. Not something I want to talk about now, but FYI he passed away. I have this feeling  that maybe his seizures he had a few months ago have something to do with it. It's weird though I found out today, and last night I had a dream that he was alive. I was playing with him, and he was happy, fine. Some dream that turned out to be.


Maybe by Sick Puppies-
Maybe I'm a dreamer
Maybe I'm misunderstood
Maybe you're not seeing the side of me you should
Maybe I'm crazy
(Maybe I'm crazy)
Maybe I'm the only one
(Maybe I'm the only one)
Maybe I'm just out of touch
Maybe I've just had enough

Maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change

Maybe it's hopeless
(Maybe it's hopeless)
Maybe I should just give up
(Maybe I should just give up)
What if I can't trust myself?
What if I just need some help?

Maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change

And maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try

And maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change

I heard this song te other day, and it fit perfect with the way my mood has been lately, and what with all the shit i've been going through . Maybe, a change wouldn't be so bad. California sounds like a really good place to go right now. I have a friend that lives there whose been trying her hardest to get me to live with her. it would definitely be a change. Who knows maybe for the better?

Ashley