Monday, December 26, 2011

Christmas 2011

Our family gathering at Christmas when I was much younger.
The top right picture I'm the one by my brother.
These are all different years, but the bottom right is from '94.

Some more Christmas gatherings.
The top right I'm the one in the blue shirt.

This Christmas had to be one of the better ones I've had in a long time, and for me to say that it's true. I can't really think of the last Christmas I had that I actually enjoyed. I'm guessing it was one where my family was actually together (mom, dad, my brother and I) in the same house. The house totally decorated, tree, lights, presents under the tree, and we would sit down Christmas Eve open one present  and enjoy the time we had. Then we'd go to sleep, and "Santa" would bring us other gifts, our stockings would be filled, and we'd wake up earlier then normal and just dive in. Those are the Christmas' I remember the most. 

For the past 13 years though it hasn't really matter all that much to me. I mean why should it, a broken family isn't something to celebrate, and each year it just reminded me that my family wouldn't be the same. I know that sounds really shallow, and that's not what Christmas is about. Family was one thing I could count on, and when that got messed up I felt I had nothing. Yes, I was a depressed child.

Okay, maybe I've had a few somewhat decent Christmas' in that time frame, but it wasn't the same. Most Christmas' I've spent with my friends. (I'm not complaining though. If it weren't for Aubrey they really would have sucked.) 

So why was this Christmas different?
Easy! I got to spend it with someone special. :) I honestly just thought okay, I'll just meet his family Sunday and that'll be that. I actually spent the whole weekend with them. It was kind funny he gave me 3 options. I could meet them Saturday, I could meet them Sunday, or I could Come over Saturday and stay the night and have Christmas with them Sunday. Needless to say I was a little hesitant. That's definitely not something I would normally do. It's not in my personality. Remember the quite, shy girl  I told you about that is me. I think in order for me to break out of my bubble I need to do things that aren't in my nature so I ended up staying. We ended up watching movies and talking. That's it. :) That's all I needed. Sunday morning comes and I get up at 830am (Guys realize this I'm not a morning person especially on weekends.) I did sleep an hour later then him. Anyways, we watched his niece and nephew open presents. We enjoyed the day. We watched some movies. We watched his nephew play some video games. They played darts. We ate lunch, and by about 430pm or so we decided to take me home so we could go see my dad and step-mom for a while. Around 530 we went over my dads house and visited with them til about 730. I felt bad because Ryan was nervous. After we left there we went over some of Ryan's friends house, and saw some of them. Then it was time for home. :)

That was my Christmas weekend.


This was my surprise gift from Ryan for Christmas. Is it not beautiful? It's funny because when I opened it he told me why he picked it out. One of the times we went out together I think I had told him how it was hard for me to trust people, and open up because of everything that has gone on in my life from my mom leaving back when I was in MS to the most recent problems I've had. He said he hoped that I would be able to open my heart to him. Aww, how sweet is that? I'm such a sucker for that kind of thing. Then I also got some perfume and stuff from his mom. :)

This would be our first picture together. (His Chihuahua Ginger was with us. lol) His mom took this Saturday night. I hate my pictures taken, but apparently they love taken pictures so I was in a few. This is one that he gave me though. :)

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Never in a million years

I know overly-dramatic much? You guys believe when I say that I never... never thought something like this would happen. If you haven't realized by now from my about me or whatever I'm 25 okay. I've never actually had something I would call a date. I think it's the shyness I have, or  that could just be an excuse. I feel kind of like Drew Barrymore in Never been kissed. Actually, I feel a lot like her. In more ways then I can count. I've joked with a few friends of mine how I'm gonna be the one who is 80 something years old with 100 cats, and that's about it. Then I look back over the past few weeks, and maybe, just maybe I'll grow to be someone else. Sure, I'll still be that old lady, but perhaps I'll have the life that most every little girl dreams about you know the one I'm talking about right? The family, the house, the husband. I'm not saying that it will happen now, but just this little bit gives me hope that maybe I'm not doomed to a life I thought I was, that life where I'm alone forever. It's kind of heartbreaking for me to even type something like that, but that is truly how I've felt all my life. That I would be alone forever. That I wouldn't find that one person who makes me feel like I'm worth something, the one person who could complete me. Sorry, I read way to many YA books.

I will say this though for the time being I'm completely happy with the way things are going. It's nice to feel wanted, loved, worth any amount of time.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Life in general

So when life sucks or when it completely, totally rocks I will gladly let you know.

The not so happy me:
When life gives you lemons!
Nowhere to call home.

I'll deal with it sort of happy:
Dress not my forte.
Once...twice...two times is enough

Life has those happy days every once in awhile:
A Christmas worth remembering
Good things do happen.
Stepping out of my bubble.
Phone calls, Books, a few things that make me happy

Work rants

I have to say I'm sure everyone has those days at work you just want to storm out and not go back, but alas you have to because you need the money.

Here's the way I deal with that: Rant!

I scream, you scream, I scream louder.

Good things can happen!

 It's time I have a little good happen to me right?
The rose he gave me at work. :)

As bitchy as I've sounded the past few times I've made a post, or what not things have seemingly become better (not with the whole home situation) but with different things in my life. I posted a few weeks ago where I finally stepped out of my secure bubble (metaphorically speaking of course) and I went out with a guy and we saw a movie and had dinner. I had fun and it was nice.

So this past weekend I went out with him again. When he showed up he had a little stuffed dog for me in the passenger seat. How freaking sweet is that? (My stuffed Dog, Rae, to the right) You have to realize that this kind of stuff never happens for me, and it was something new to me so I was thrilled. I know it sounds goofy, but come on guys a stuffed animal. I love animals and I may be 25, but stuffed animals are always fun to get. I still have my beanie baby collection, and a few stuffed tigers and other things.  We went to dinner and talked about work (we work at the same place so it's nice that we understand each others work) and our life in general. That's something that I usually don't do with people unless of course you already know what's going on or you know what my family is like. Very few people get to know what my life is actually like. So being able to open up about things was nice. He had to work and they wanted him to stay later (Why I don't know because we close at 6.) He's like nope I can't. They said is it because you have a date? He told them maybe I do. When he told me that it made me feel a little better because I honestly didn't know what to call it. I know I'm stupid we will leave it at that. :P Anyways, after dinner we went and saw The Sitter, and after that he asked if I wanted to meet a few of his friends, go over their house and watch another movie and hang out. I said sure so we ended going over to his friends place and stayed there until about 4am. Poor guy had to be at work Sunday at 12. Anyways, we're actually suppose to go out this coming weekend to see the new Sherlock Holmes movie. (I love me some Robert Downey Jr.) I'm pretty excited.

Oh, he came to work today and before I left he gave me the rose that I have pictured above. You guys seriously have no idea how speechless I am. (okay, so maybe I'm not speechless here, but you get the idea)

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Movie review:: The Sitter (2011)

Movie: The Sitter

Brian Gatewood, Alessandro Tanaka

Jonah Hill Jonah Hill ...
Noah Griffith
Max Records Max Records ...
Ari Graynor Ari Graynor ...
Marisa Lewis
J.B. Smoove J.B. Smoove ...
Sam Rockwell Sam Rockwell ...
Landry Bender Landry Bender ...
Kevin Hernandez Kevin Hernandez ...
Kylie Bunbury Kylie Bunbury ...
Erin Daniels Erin Daniels ...
Mrs. Pedulla
D.W. Moffett D.W. Moffett ...
Dr. Pedulla
Jessica Hecht Jessica Hecht ...
Sandy Griffith
Bruce Altman Bruce Altman ...
Jim Griffith
Method Man Method Man ...
Jacolby (as Cliff 'Method Man' Smith)
Sean Patrick Doyle Sean Patrick Doyle ...
Alex Wolff Alex Wolff ...
A comedy about a college student on suspension who is coaxed into babysitting the kids next door, though he is fully unprepared for the wild night ahead of him. 
I went to see this last night without any idea of what it was really about. The guy I went out with wanted to see it so I was like why not. I thought it would be stupid just because alot of the movies Jonah Hill plays in are kinda of, and yes this one was a little ridiculous I found that as it went on that it got a little better, and I adored the kids that were in it. I had a feeling somethin was going on with slater. ( he was an adorable kid) When Noah sat down and had a talk with him I was like that is sweet. Like I said as the movie went on Noah's softer side seemed to come out, and he begin to like the kids. Boy, the things he and those kids went through though.
All in all it was an ok movie I would recommend seeing it, but I would wait until it came out on DVD.

Nowhere to call home

It amazes me that for someone who doesn't do anything to anybody and has been nothing, but nice and supportive and helps people out when they're in the dumps that I could be treated like total shit. When we're through with you will just kick you out, and you can find somewhere else to go. (Problem with this is I have nowhere to go.) Just when you think things start to look up someone pulls that rug from underneath you and you fall on your ass. By the way, it's not a good feeling, and I can only hope that you never have to have that feeling. (Okay, maybe in a way I do, but I'm a little bitter about it.)

The worse part about this is I'm being made out like the bad guy here. You all have a family so you should get the special treatment is that right? I'm just one, single person so I should be able to make it with what little I have compared to your two incomes, and other things you all get for free. How does that seem right? Yes, maybe, I sound a little bitchy. Maybe, I'm being unfair, but you know what I have that right just as much as anyone else. I'm sorry, but I'm the one who got the raw end of this deal. Still I tried to be a better person. I haven't lived now in the house since the middle of November yet, I paid you rent for December because again everyone made me feel guilty, made me out to be a bad person because I didn't give notice. And you're wondering why I'm mad? Why I'm holding this grudge? I don't mind paying some maybe even half since my stuff is still in the room, but all of it. I'm sorry that in my opinion was wrong. Yes, maybe in the near future I can forgive and forget. (You're family after all.) For now, I'm still pissed, and don't think that will change anytime real soon.

You see it as being okay because hell I can just go live with mom and her husband or dad and his wife. News flash I was trying to get away from that. I didn't want to do that. So basically I have nowhere to call home because these homes belong to them.


Friday, November 18, 2011

Movie review: A very Harold a Kumar Christmas


Kal Penn, John Cho and Neil Patrick Harris

Six years have elapsed since Guantanamo Bay, leaving Harold and Kumar estranged from one another with very different families, friends and lives. But when Kumar arrives on Harold's doorstep during the holiday season with a mysterious package in hand, he inadvertently burns down Harold's father-in-law's beloved Christmas tree. To fix the problem, Harold and Kumar embark on a mission through New York City to find the perfect Christmas tree, once again stumbling into trouble at every single turn.

My thoughts:
This is the first movie that I actually went and saw with someone besides people I'm use to seeing movies with. A guy from work and I went to see it. Now I watched Harold and Kumar Guantanamo bay movie and actually enjoyed it, but this was awesome. I'm not much for the stoner type movies and whatever, but I laughed about 90% of the time. It's not something for children to see. It had some nude scenes among other things. The poor baby that was in it was on some drugs. She kept getting put into situations where she would inhale or swallow something.

I really do need to watch a few of the other movies.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Music: Leave at all the rest by Linkin Park

Artist: Linkin Park
Song: Leave at all the rest

"Leave Out All The Rest"

I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
'Cause no one else cared

After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here?

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what I've made
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting all the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come
And save me from myself
I can't be who you are

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting all the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come
And save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are

My thoughts:
Ever since I heard this song I've loved it. I'm not sure what pulled me to it. I guess it's that when I'm having a bad day this is the song I listen to. I can't be someone else, and I hate it when people compare one person with another because no one is a like.

I stepped out of my bubble.

That's right you guys I have finally taken that step. If you know anything about me then you know, I like to be comfortable. In order for that to happen I tend to stay inside this bubble where I'm safe, and I know that the only things that can hurt me are the things that are already in it with me. Does that make sense? If I get hurt it's because of close friends or family. Other then them I'm pretty much a closed book.

A little history lesson about me feels like it's in order for me to explain what I'm talking about. I've never been one to be outgoing or what do they call them extroverts. I've always enjoyed staying home, being in my home, doing my own thing and not having to worry about what other people think. I've always been that shy, wanting to please everyone, not cause problems sort of person. I always had trouble making friends, and just being outgoing. in elementary, middle and high school I always had those few close friends (although they were different friends in each school) still I never had an overwhelming amount. I didn't participate in any clubs or sports because I had what a doctor called social anxiety, and to this day 8 years later (after high school) I still have it I think. There's a lot of things I could get into right here, but I'll just say that if I go out it's usually with a few friends I've known forever, or a group of people. I mean once I know you awhile then yes I'm fine, and we're cool. It's those first few times together that are a little awkward for me so I've just kept away from it. This time though it was different just me and someone else (who I've known for a year or two maybe) and besides work we've never much talked or gone out. So when I was asked to it really shocked the hell out of me. I decided that maybe it was time for that move, take a step in a direction I'm not use to. So I said yes. We went to eat and then to see a movie, and believe it or not I had fun.

That's pretty much all I have to say. :)

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Phone calls, books,

 I'll admit I'm not much of a phone person, and by that I mean I usually don't talk on the phone. The only exceptions to this rule are my mom (because she likes to call me), my brother, (not very often), and my grandma. When I get those un-expected calls from people, I love it. It's funny how we can talk for an hour or more just about our sites and books and things in general. It's nice to know that there are people out there who share that same passion (and maybe obsessive-ness) as you do about things.

I can honestly say I would never be able to spend an hour or so talking to other friends that live near me about books, publishers, our blogs, or other social media that we as book bloggers use to connect to each other. I've only actually talked to one other blogger on the phone. (although we text alot) It's nice though, and if I could I would probably with others as well.

That's all I just thought I'd share that.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Movie Review: Paranormal Activity 3

Christopher B. Landon
, Oren Peli (characters)

Chloe Csengery
, Jessica Tyler Brown and Christopher Nicholas Smith

In 1988, young sisters Katie and Kristi befriend an invisible entity who resides in their home.

Wow, this was bad. I don't usually say that about movies, books or anything. This actually was bad though. I guess it's a good thing I didn't actually have to pay for it. (Thanks Aubrey.) I've watched every one of the PA movies that have come out, and the first one was probably the best of them. This one sucked. There was one part during the whole hour and a half that literally made the entire theatre jump out of the seats. That's it. What I don't get is why the heck are they going backwards with the movies. The first started off with the girls as adults, who in this one are kids. Whatever.

TOne thing that was different about this was the rotating fan from the kitchen to the living room. It had potential to bring some scary moments to the movie when it went back and forth, but it never did. #fail on their part

I would recommend just waiting for it to come out on DVD, and rent it from Redbox for 1.00 because that's pretty much all it's worth.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Rangers are World Series Bound...

Tonight the Rangers are World Series bound for the second year in a row. Last year they ended up losing to the SF Pirates (I think) Hopefully, they can go ALL the WAY this year! They beat the Detroit Tigers with a 15 to 5 score tonight. WAY to go boys! I get a little camera happy so even though I was at home watching the game I still took pictures of the celebration. I'm a dork I know.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Movie Review: Abduction

John Singleton

Nathan, a teen, along with his friend, Karen finds a website that has photos of children who are missing or believed to have been abducted. They decide to age one of the photos and discover that is of Nathan as a child. He contacts the person who placed the photo to find out what's going on. The person on the other end only wants to know info about Nathan so Nathan hangs up. The person then contacts someone in Europe and shows him a photo of the one who called. He then heads for the U.S. Nathan then wonders is it true, was he abducted. He tells his "mom" who then tells him she and his "father" will tell him. But before they can, two men claiming to be cops show up wanting to talk to Nathan, and when he isn't found they pull guns and demand Nathan be given to them. His parents fight them but are killed. Nathan runs but remembers that he asked Karen to come over...

What to say...what to say. I'm going to be straight here. I actually just wanted to see this because I've read some really bad reviews of it, and I wanted to have my own take on it. I'm not overly in love with Taylor Lautner. I think he did a good job in the twilight movies, and as a lead character in this movie he was alright as well. I'm not going to jump and down and say it was awesome because it wasn't really. It also was not horrible like some said it was. It had me engaged in Nathan's story. We find out things about him as he found them out so it was all good there. I'll admit it was a little slow getting started, and in the beginning it was more of a romance-y type feel. Nathan watching Karen and vice versa. I think they could have left out the romance part. I didn't really see where there was a need for it. I was not happy with Lily Collins acting either. It was eh. Which sucks because she's playing Clary, the main character in the upcoming Mortal Instruments Movies. (I can't see her as Clary)

The action scenes were pretty good, and I enjoyed some of the veterans that were in it. I usually am horrible at recognizing actors from other tv shows I watch, but the FBI guy was someone I recognize from another cop show.

Question: I read someone else asked the same thing, but why call the movie Abduction when technically nobody was abducted.

Anyways, I'm not much of a reviewer on movies, but that's my take.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Music: all

I have very few things in life that I actually love. (None at this moment are people) What are they? Reading, books, movies, my cat (when she's not irritating) and music. I use to go crazy buying older cds from groups I listened to back in middle and high school, but I've recently stopped. (I blame the books) I do however, have quite a collection of cd's before I stopped. I'm very proud of them even though they're stuck in bags and not out. (my room is to small). This section isn't to much of reviews on the cds or music. it's more of a what I feel for the music at that time section.

I'll post songs I enjoy, and have some kind of meaning to me. You get the idea?

Lighters by Eminem ft Bruno Mars and Royce Da 5'9

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Movie Reviews: All

Besides reading and buying books another one of my other favorite things to do is movie watching whether it's at home in the comfort of my bed, or out in the theatre with my friends. Here are some of the ones I've seen (old or new) These are only my opinions of the movie, and therefore should only be taken lightly. I'm in no way a movie critic or whatever. :)

The Sitter (2011)
Breaking Dawn Pt 1(2011) (review coming soon)
A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas (2011)
Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)
Abduction (2011)
Dolphin Tale (2011)

Monday, October 3, 2011

Movie Review: Dolphin Tale

Movie: Dolphin Tale
Release Date: September 23, 2011
Type: Drama, Family
Rated: PG
Director:Charles Martin Smith
Writers:Karen Janszen, Noam Dromi
A lonely and friendless boy finds and untangles a hurt dolphin that is caught in a crab trap. He becomes very attached to the dolphin when the tail must be taken off to save the dolphin's life. The boy believes the dolphin would be able to swim normally if it was given a prosthetic tail.

I went and saw this the other night with my friend, and I have to say it was an adorable movie. Not many movies make me want to cry, but ones with animals always tend to have that affect on me especially if the animal is hurt, or something is going to happen. (Marley and me, The fox and the hound) I felt so bad for winter, and everytime they went to try a tail on her, and it didn't work I was sad. I think what makes this worse is that it's based on a true story (See Winter Website). These kinds of movies always make me want to try and help those that can't help themselves.

I enjoyed some of the actors while others were kinda eh to me. The little girl who played Hazel while she was cute and all. The parts where she had to be upset just didn't seem real to me. Sorry I'm not trying to be mean. I always love watching Morgan Freeman play in  movies.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Once..Twice..Two times is enough

Today, is not a rant, or a bitchy post at all I promise. It's a happy post. I know totally not me right?

So today my mom had her wedding, and I was believe it or not very happy for her. She deserves happiness, and if this is how she gets it then I'm 100% supportive. Although, it was not a major wedding (and some people that should have been there weren't) It was good, and I think the people that matter most to the bride and groom were there. :)

So here are the pictures taken.

That is the extent of the picture taking I did
The people in the pictures are Tr (groom), Emily (bride my mom), The three guys are Tr and his brothers, Mom's Stepdad, Cousins, Uncle,  Cousins kids, Amy, (brides sister),